I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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