i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
