At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
