I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
