cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
