Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
