Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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