I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he puts the penis in happiness.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
