i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
