Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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