honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
