Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
