Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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