Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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