broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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