i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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