hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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