I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
