i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
