They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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