hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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