I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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