Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
