She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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