Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
