She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
