Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
