do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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