I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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