honey bunches of taint.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
