I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
