Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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