you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
