We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
