Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
