Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
