We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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