Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
