It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
