She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Come share oat with me in your robe
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
