Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
