One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
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