whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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