i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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