Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
