Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
