she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
