So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Randomize
