look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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