Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
