Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I need to align my fucking chakras
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
