i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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