I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
