Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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